[Kid Inspiration]

Okay, little joke for all South Pacific dwellers! (Aus, NZ etc.)

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Canada. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Kiwi girl.

He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.

Isn’t it ironic, dontcha think…

The Astrological Magazine site here for the original image!!

Via Best AFP Photos 2007

Talk about a David and Goliath Face off… this is the attitude I love to see in children! Bring it on to every challenge!

Proof the web is getting cuter and cuter!

href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_QiFsJDNQs” target=”_blank”>YouTube Link

It can strike at cheap slimciti hoodia any time, so be informed

Stole this quote from somewhere… just can’t quite remember.

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.” – Dave Barry, comedian (1947-)

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: HEY! Let’s ride bikes!!!

Okay, funniest ad of the year award (and it’s only Feb):

Improve your English

Ha.

I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said “Can I help you?” and he said “No, I’m just looking.”

(to read all jokes – click category link at top right)

I just read this post at www.ysmarko.com

I just had to link to it!

Adam was walking round the garden one day looking miserable. God said to him, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said “I’m lonely, I’ve got nothing to do, I’ve named all the animals and I’m bored.” So God said, “I could make you a woman if you like.” Adam replied, “What would that be like?”

“Well”, said the LORD, “she’d be kind of like you but kind of different. She’d be very beautiful and just looking at her would knock your socks off. If she kissed you you’d think you were going to faint. You’d find her ravishing, gorgeous, amazing. She would think you were the centre of the universe. She’d passionately love you, bear children for you, cook and clean for you. She’d get up in the night if the kids cried, she’d never complain about how little you do, if you ever had an argument she would apologise and say it must have been her fault.”

“Wow”, replied Adam. “That sounds fantastic. I bet a woman like that would be very expensive.” “You better believe it”, said the Lord, “She’d cost you an arm and a leg.” “An arm and a leg?”, replied Adam. “Tell me, what could I get for a rib?” And that’s where all the trouble started.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Operator! Trace this call and tell me where I am.

Save the whales! Collect the whole set!

Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live
above me are furious.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

If the ##2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still ##2?

I doubt, therefore I might be.

Caution: I drive like you do

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Quantum Mechanics- The dreams stuff is made of.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, ‘I’m home
now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.’

It said ‘Insert disk 3…’ but only 2 fit.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

I know Karate! …and several other japanese words.

Mental backup in progress – Do Not alli copare prices Disturb!

Corduroy pillows- They’re making headlines!

Hey kids – its serious!

Did you hear about the Texas Teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the right feet.

He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.” She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner they got the boots off and he said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear ‘em.”

Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, “Now, where are your mittens?” He said, “I stuffed ‘em in the toes of my boots.”

Her trial starts next month.

(Thanks to Phil Baker for this).