[Kid Inspiration]

Look…

If you have things to do, or places to go then read no further!

Otherwise - here are 336 Useless Facts!

Enjoy.

Hey You.

Yeah You.

Now you’re reading this blog, so I guess you can at least turn on a computer and may even have a small passing interest in the internet. So I present to you the State of the Blogosphere, October 2005.

http://www.sifry.com/alerts/archives/000343.html

Interesting facts:
The blogosphere is now over 30 times as big as it was 3 years ago, with no signs of letup in growth
About 70,000 new weblogs are created every day
About a new weblog is created each second

Woah!

I guess I gotta at least say thanks for checking this site out!

Thanks.

From the sad but true file:

A CHRISTIAN charity is sending a film on the Christmas story to all 26,000 primary schools in Britain after hearing of a young boy who asked his teacher why Mary and Joseph named their baby after a swear word.

Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she’s already thinking about doing it again.

“We both just love children and we consider each a blessing from the Lord. I have asked Michelle if she wants more and she said yes, if the Lord wants to give us some she will accept them,” he said in a telephone interview.

Talk about growing a Children’s Ministry!

That is one way to make sure you get looked after in your retirement!

Ten-year-old twin girls in Vienna, Va., were awakened after midnight by an intruder. It was a masked man who broke into their family home and went straight to their bedroom, police say. He grabbed one of the girls and tried to gag her, which woke up her sister. The two girls, who have been taking martial arts lessons for self defense, “responded the way they were instructed to,” said a police spokesman: they beat on him.

The ruckus awoke their parents, and their father quickly arrived and beat the man with a table lamp, but he escaped. Their mother recognized the man’s voice: it was the girls’ Tae Kwan Do instructor, she said. Police went to the home of instructor Andrew M. Jacobs, 42, and arrested him after he admitted he was the burglar. Police noted he had bruises on his face. (Vienna Connection, Washington Post)

…The good news is, he’s not all that good at Tae Kwan Do. The better news is, he teaches it really well.

(Thanks to thisistrue.com)

Adam was walking round the garden one day looking miserable. God said to him, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said “I’m lonely, I’ve got nothing to do, I’ve named all the animals and I’m bored.” So God said, “I could make you a woman if you like.” Adam replied, “What would that be like?”

“Well”, said the LORD, “she’d be kind of like you but kind of different. She’d be very beautiful and just looking at her would knock your socks off. If she kissed you you’d think you were going to faint. You’d find her ravishing, gorgeous, amazing. She would think you were the centre of the universe. She’d passionately love you, bear children for you, cook and clean for you. She’d get up in the night if the kids cried, she’d never complain about how little you do, if you ever had an argument she would apologise and say it must have been her fault.”

“Wow”, replied Adam. “That sounds fantastic. I bet a woman like that would be very expensive.” “You better believe it”, said the Lord, “She’d cost you an arm and a leg.” “An arm and a leg?”, replied Adam. “Tell me, what could I get for a rib?” And that’s where all the trouble started.

Seriously – check this out… do it now!

This test from Lead the Way God Made You: Discovering Your Leadership Style in Children’s Ministry by Larry Shallenberger will help you discover your unique leadership strengths. Then use Larry’s book for the second step of the leadership journey discovering how to best use what God’s given you to bless your ministry, your co-workers, and the kids you serve.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.

Operator! Trace this call and tell me where I am.

Save the whales! Collect the whole set!

Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live
above me are furious.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say.

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

If the ##2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still ##2?

I doubt, therefore I might be.

Caution: I drive like you do

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Quantum Mechanics- The dreams stuff is made of.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, ‘I’m home
now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.’

It said ‘Insert disk 3…’ but only 2 fit.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

One nice thing about egotists: They don’t talk about other people.

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

According to my calculations, the problem doesn’t exist

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

I know Karate! …and several other japanese words.

Mental backup in progress – Do Not alli copare prices Disturb!

Corduroy pillows- They’re making headlines!

Just spoke at our Hillsong Bible College on Wednesday about the Internet and Media.

For all those at the class, or even if you are just curious… then the notes are available for download.

This is a quick little primer for anyone who would like to use/search the net for Childrens Ministry related info, and also a basic outline of how the web works.

Harry S. Truman said:

“In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves… self-discipline with all of them came first.”

Self-discipline isn’t about torturing yourself or denying yourself. It’s about mastering yourself as a surgical tool you can use to pursue the purpose of God wholeheartedly.

You want to lead a powerful team of leaders who passionately believe they are called to minister to kids?

Then master YOURSELF first!

We should and can expect parents to make right decisions about their children — right?

Parents want their kids to grow up strong, healthy and have the knowledge neccasary to lead a productive life — right?

Maybe we assume to much? If you ask any parent the question above, the overwhelming response will be — “of course they want that for their child”.

Parents may have the desire to see that for their children, but lets assume that they don’t know HOW to achieve that. Just like what happened in the recent hurricane Katrina disaster — FEMA and the American Red Cross launched a pilot progam in which 10,500 emergency debit cards at a value of $2000 a piece were issued to evacuees.

The program was killed within a few days of its implementation, though, because of reported abuses: one survivor reportedly bought “over $700 in high heel shoes and purses” at a Memphis department store “while (her) younger children, most of them looked under the age of 3, looked like they haven’t showered in weeks.”

“If they make an inappropriate decision as to what to purchase, the whole issue of victims’ rights comes into play,” said Bill Hildebrandt, CEO of the Mid-South chapter of the American Red Cross, “They have a right, I guess, to be inappropriate.”

Lets always assume, when dealing with parents, that they have the desire but not the knowledge — and work to educating them to approporiate decisions!

You may have heard of John Maxwell…

If not, then you are about to.

In his latest newsletter, John talks about team building. Now I would bet that if you are in any kind of ministry, then one of the hot topics you want to know more about is exactly that; How do I build a world changing team?

Read this article now!

After that, you must do two things:

1. Goto injoy.com and if possible get your good self to an John Maxwell event.

2. Sign up for his free Leadership Wired newsletter.

Hey kids – its serious!

NZ is lovely — the land of Hobbits is much colder than Sydney, but nothing that an electric blanket can’t fix!

WARNING: Don’t try the below in your children’s ministry!

This is a pretty bizarre way to teach kids about Christ’s sufferings on the cross – bring them forward during Mass and prick them all with a pin. The priest, Rev. Arthur Michalka, has now realised it probably wasn’t a good idea and is going to apologise and has stated, pun apparently unintended, “I didn’t think it was that big a deal. I can see the point now. I’ll see to it that it doesn’t happen again.”

Beci and I will be taking a short break with family back in Christchurch New Zealand for 10 days from this Wednesday.

But as always, I will travel with laptop and will most likely post some riveting news about the state of something you wish you never knew, but now will know, because I had the foresight and wisdom to let you know.

For example: In the last regular episode of MacGyver, our hero discovered the son he never knew he had — a young man named Sean “Sam” Malloy — and the two got on their motorcycles and rode off into the sunset to bond — beautiful (For those of you who did not grow up in the eighties — don’t worry about it!)