[Kid Inspiration]

When 5 mg propecia Christian puppetry goes bad… hilarious video of some pirates singing about a paralysed Satan!

Satan Has Been Paralyzed!

So how did you get to this blog?

It’s possible that you found it by searching on Google or Yahoo.

People have typed in some pretty unusual searches and found my blog… The cool thing is, every time someone puts a search term in Google or whatever and finds me, I get a record of it. So here are some of the more unusual terms people have found my blog with; some obvious, some bizarre:

• giant connect 4
• turtle talk with crush – Ah Yes… I blogged about that last year…
• bar – I have no idea?
• children’s ministry names – Sure, makes sense.
• tamagotchi helping page children
• hillsongs kids jesus is my superhero free download - Naughty, naughty.
• download super strong god-hillsong kid – Very Naughty!
• children reading the bible – Great Idea!
• religious jokes on discipleship
  
• russian praise and worship ministry
• give 400 mg skelaxin yourself to the savior- children’s program – Seems like a great thing for a kid to do.
• woman on campus – Hmmm?
• funny kid’s comments about church
• hillsong children scary – Hey, they’re not that scary.
• jack’s big music show figures – All the figures I have are my own, I promise.
• 666 in pop culture
• ministry trumpet or rhema or kids or child or spokane tim carpenter – Blow that rhema tim trumpet?
• very pregnant album wedding - This is just silly, Beci didn’t get pregnant for years after our wedding!
• five most significant accomplishments in children’s ministry – Aw shucks, such a nice thing to say about this blog.
• fozzie bear jokes – don’t know any.

Bad ad Photo contest at worth100.com

This 40 mg zocor is my favourite.

Those of you in the PC desert I know how you feel

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi would get together twice a week for coffee to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they’re all together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first. “Well,” he says, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy 40 mg nexium water, sprinkled him and he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.”

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, “WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.”

They both looked down at Rabbi Goldberg, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV’s and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, “Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

Video of the week…

So I am sure that you have 40 furosemide mg heard some irritating songs from kids over your life-time…

Well here is a new contendor for the “Most Annoying Song in the World.”

Why did I not think of this?

From The Wibsite

This collection of cartoons in celebration of the flannelgraph features some lesser-known 30 mg lexapro Bible incidents. Click on each picture for a warm and fuzzy-felt feeling.

25 mg hydrochlorothiazide height=”372″ id=”image256″ alt=”Savage Chicken – Judas” src=”http://www.davidwakerley.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/05/chickenjudas.jpg” />

From Savage Chickens

200 mg clomid />

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: HEY! Let’s ride bikes!!!

The unmistakeable Simpsons opener, 100 mg tetracycline but with live people — very clever!
Real Life Simpsons Opener

Okay, funniest ad of the year award (and it’s only Feb):

Improve your English

Ha.

I know a guy who called up the Home Shopping Network. They said “Can I help you?” and he said “No, I’m just looking.”

(to read all jokes – click category link at top right)

‘Tis the Season to Eat – so here is the story of creation slightly altered:

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Cookies and Cream Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?”

And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it “Angel Food Cake,” and said, “It is good.” Satan then created chocolate cake and named it “Devil’s Food.”

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained ten pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and it’s cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes! and super size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created Health Insurance.

Spectacular shot of an All Nippon Airline being struck by lightning in Osaka .
Amazing that the aircraft itself and the people and equipment inside can survive such a hit.

This is in normal time

This is in slow motion

This is a still photo just on initiation of the bolt..
Notice the ground and air bolt feeder strike at the same time.

Well like anyone who has been a part of church for a long time I have come to the realisation that Pastor’s jokes are generally really bad!

Well, now that I’m a Children’s Pastor I thought it was about time for me to give making bad jokes a go so here are a few…

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says,
“I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

5. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but
I couldn’t find any.

And finally my recent favourite…

6. A man from New Zealand was recently interviewed after breaking his back from jumping off a cliff holding a chicken by the legs. When asked why he was doing such an outrageous thing he replied “Well i’ve always wanted to go HENGLIDING!”

Well there you have it. My jokes are just as bad as the next Pastor but I know that many of you will cut and paste these on emails to your friends.