[Kid Inspiration]

So this blog functions as a repository for most ideas I come across. I found this little thing on better behaviour. Not sure where it came from, but if I stole it from you, let me know and I will attribute it!

Building Better Behavior

Disruptive behavior may come from a child feeling ignored or misunderstood. Sometimes reflective listening may be all that’s needed.

Children need to feel accepted and understood, especially when they’re upset. This frees them to relax their guard and look at other options and points of view. (Remember, acceptance doesn’t have to include
approval.)

Reflective listening can have three parts:

* inviting children to express themselves
* listening
* reflecting back what we hear

Inviting. Let the child know you understand he or she has a problem. Offer to listen if the child is open to that invitation. This means offering, but not pushing.

Listening. First listen—whether or not you agree, whether or not the child is “right,” whether or not the feelings are “ugly.” Say things like “Hmmm” and “I see” to show you’re listening. Ask questions to clarify and make sure you understand.

Reflecting back. Share with the child the feelings you have heard him or her express. It’s best to show empathy, not sympathy or pity. Empathy means letting the child know you can understand how he or she
feels. It’s important not to insist an attitude or feeling is wrong, since the child will then want to defend it.

When children feel understood, positive behavior slowly replaces negative behavior.