Adolescents
From Michael Coggin, a licensed counselor at the Resurgence. A great blog to read for some very deep thoughts, and blog posts long enough to double as books.
Listening for Life: Picking Up on Verbal and Non-Verbal Signals
…As we look at today’s generation we see a generation of adolescents that are deeply wounded. We live in a culture that is permeated by relational brokenness. We see the fruits and consequences of no-fault divorces and researchers who 30 years ago were writing of the resiliency of children of divorce and even the benefits of parental separation who are now having to come to terms with the reality. We also live in a sexually addicted society. Rise in eating disorders, the prevalence of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, and the overall neglect of today’s youth.
His article is written primarily about adolescents, but a midwife and friend of mine has been involved with a pregnant 11 year old in the last few months, so we know puberty is coming on fast for our kids!
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
So have a read of this post and learn how to LISTEN to kids and the barriers to listening.
Article Summary:
Listening for Life
We see in Scripture that Jesus understood the importance of listening. Even as a young boy he was sitting with the teachers in the temple, “listening to them an asking them questions and everyone was amazed at his understanding” (Luke 2:46–47) … The word listen occurs more than two hundred times in the Scriptures.
Listening Unearths Hidden Feelings
Actively listening allows a context for teenagers’ hidden feelings to come to the surface.
Listening Creates a Safe Environment
Free from evaluation, listening creates a safe environment.
Listening Leads to Intimacy
To listen to another human being is a relational posture that invites as well as fosters intimacy.
BARRIERS TO LISTENING
Landmines of the Heart – Landmines Are Relational Wounds
[In Europe] Shells and landmines from [WW1] accidentally explode and kill people to this day.”… The landmines, or the relational wounds of our heart, keep us from being able to enter into adolescents’ lives and earn the right to listen to them and speak God’s gospel of grace into their lives.Personal Sharing with an Agenda: Sharing to Give Something vs. Sharing to Get Something
…sharing to get these questions answered by the adolescents in their lives as opposed to being concerned about what God says about who they are.
The Importance of a Non-Anxious Presence
It’s important for teens to know that you’re not going anywhere, no matter what. They need to know that, no matter how shocking, surprising, or broken they are, you are committed to pursuing them, listening to them, and walking with them through the brokenness, as well as the beauty of their lives.
Pursuing an Adolescent’s Heart
Help adolescents know that they don’t have to fill the role of God when it comes who we are. Our willingness to take the time to listen to an adolescent will have a generational impact.
Read the full article at Resurgence
