Product Warnings

More Jokes… OK… well these are funny… Product warnings for those commen every day things…

Product Warnings

Due to lawsuits the following warnings are now required:

- On a cardboard windshield sun shade: “Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place”

- On an infant’s bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.

- On a package of Fisherman’s Friend(R) throat lozenges: Not meant as a substitute for human companionship.

- On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.

- On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.

- On a cup of McDonald’s coffee: Allow to cool before applying to groin area.

- On a refrigerator: Refrigerate after opening.

- On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.

- On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.

- On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.

- On a piano: Harmful or fatal if swallowed.

- On a can of Fix-a-Flat: Not to be used for breast augmentation.

- On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2-shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.

- On work gloves: For best results, do not leave at crime scene.

- On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.

- On a calendar: Use of term “Sunday” for reference only. No meteorological warranties express or implied.

- On Odor Eaters: Do not eat.

- On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.

- On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only.

- On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than they appear.

- On children’s alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.